8. 1st intermission

“Is there a place you can go to break away for a little while? If you haven’t yet built your tree house, it’s never too late to start.” ― Gina Greenlee

Sometimes we should all just take a step back, allow your mind to settle and evaluate the situation from the outside. I decided that I would take a break to write an intermission, a way for me to chronicle how I was feeling writing these articles, and I may make this a recurring event. I also want to bring you a little more into who I am now, my mind process, and how I deal with something like this, which effectively is opening my life to strangers.

Ready, set, go…

I started writing these articles after many discussions with friends (none from back then) where the seed was sown. On a Friday we have a small group of four people that like to meet up for a couple of cheeky pints in a cosy bar we like. This includes a former colleague, a colleague and my partner. We discuss everything and anything, but from time to time my mental health and wellbeing will crop up.

It was suggested that maybe I would benefit from getting my past down on ‘paper’, and as someone who owns a few websites, I purchased www.mancuniandiary.com.

Writer’s block…

Of course, when I sat in front of my keyboard ready to write my first article, I was lost, I just didn’t know where to start. At this point I wrote a list of every topic I wanted to cover but I never prioritised them. I now use that list to structure the order I write articles and it allows me to update, change or remove items from the list as the articles come out.

I cannot remember how to…

My partner proof reads the articles for grammar, structure and spelling, where my colleague reads them as they come out to offer his opinion. What I would say is that this sometimes makes me feel very vulnerable, but up to now, I’m glad I have people around me that love me, want to help, and get involved.

All my articles will be improved as I write more and learn more, they will never lose the basic message or story, but something important may be remembered, something may need more explanation, and I aim on keeping up with that.

That was a bit much…

Some articles I write don’t really adversely affect me, but some do. I’m taking a little time to myself right now, as the last article was the first time I felt uncomfortable. When I say ‘take some time’ I don’t mean there will be large gaps between articles, but there will be a week or so break where I need some time to think, or work is just getting in the way. I don’t want to write these when I’m not in the mood, not in the right place or where it would be detrimental to my personal life.

Keep in touch…

There are many more articles to come, as I said, I have a list which is ever evolving. Some of the future articles will be about relationships which I’m dreading, drugs which should be interesting, and alcohol addiction. I will also be covering in detail my depression, anxiety and self-harm which will be tough for me, so I hope people will be patient and forgiving.

Current thoughts…

I’m truly happy that I’m doing this, and I’m so happy that you want to take this journey with me. This is not just about my own redemption, but maybe there’s someone out there that will take solace in the fact that other people also share their pain.